WotWentWrong: The Dumper Form

The key to customer service is following up with clients. You need to give them an open door to voice their concern and express their level of satisfaction. Seeing as how this is 2012 and dating is just another product you buy online, the role of customer service needs to be streamlined as well.

In what has been hailed as an app that, “takes the mystery out of the dating dumps,” WotWentWrong answers the call that never came. That is, when the person you’re dating just stops calling and you want to know why. WotWentWrong is on the job and will get a full report on your personal flaws and ineptitudes that prevented your date from pursuing your affections.

The way it works is simple. First you’ve gotta get dumped. This is actually harder than it seems. See, in a strange flaw of human nature people are attracted to those that are terrible for them. It’s being on your best behavior that makes them lose interest. So really, the more you try to get dumped the more likely they’re going to want to keep you around.

Once you manage to get dumped, or the person finally decides they can’t take it anymore and stops calling. Or maybe their friends hold an intervention and whisk them away to a mountain resort to keep them from their ‘trying to get dumped’ mate. Then you’re ready to use WotWentWrong.

Now that you’ve been successfully (and in most cases) inexplicably dumped, you want to know why things fell apart. There you were in a relationship and they all of a sudden lost interest. They might have found someone else, or they might have been turned off by something that you were doing. With WotWentWrong you can set up a quick dating dump ready form and send it off to them. Your dumper will then be (presumably) delighted to provide you the feedback necessary for you to improve your dating services for the next person.

While a very small segment of critics have expressed concern that this brings, “Psycho to a whole new level,” we’ve decided to refrain from passing judgment. We will note that there’s a reason why the tried and true, “It’s not you, it’s me” has been around for so long. But fear not, this is one of the options in the “Hey! You just dumped me! Will you please now fill out a survey?” survey.

WotWentWrong- The Dumped Form

The internet is a place for new ideas and for people to move the things they do offline, to cyberspace. WotWentWrong does that. Rather than having a mutual friend call, or spending countless hours wondering, you can now safely know why you were dumped and make appropriate behavioral corrections. Since online dating innovations are beginning to go past the superficial, “Hello, nice to meet you,” stages of romance, we’d like to suggest the following applications that the makers of Dating Dumps, err I mean WotWentWrong, might consider.

  • An application that helps matriarchs and spinsters join forces in harassing those whose singleness is, in their view, salvageable.
  • A timer mobile app that lets people enter relevant social cues and then tells them exactly how long they should wait before calling their love interest.
  • A web site that helps cultivate a relationship with your ex’s best friend, or your best friend’s ex. Forms will be sent out, permission will be asked for. Then a knowledge transfer session will be scheduled to help ease the transition. We can all be adults about this people- you know everyone does it anyway.
  • A dating website that takes you through the basics of online bios and whatnot. Then once it seems it’s about to introduce you to potential mates it brings up a screen and sends constant reminders to, “Just go to the gym.”

In any case, WotWentWrong has broken new ground in the online dating arena. Indeed they have built an application that allows people to inquire of their lost love interests as to why they left. It’s the romance story of the 21st century. But hey, a little constructive criticism couldn’t hurt, could it? Time will tell.


Jobseeker: Making Job Hunting in Australia Practically Enjoyable

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” said Charles Dickens in “A Tale of Two Cities.”  And in a similar way, the same can be said about the global job market.  Except for the “best” part.

The fact of the matter is that in most economies, the job market is still somewhat bleak.  Take Australia, for example.  Just a few days ago came news that unemployment is likely to creep up, reversing a happy trend that saw job vacancies in the private sector decrease by almost four percent in November.

What’s the point?  The point is thus: still mired in employment purgatory, millions of Australians are looking for jobs, and the “blindly send out 4,234 resumes a day” strategy isn’t the best use of their time.  They need customization, ease of use, precision.  They need

Jobseeker Home is a free Australia job search aggregator that makes searching for a job far less dreadful than it normally is.  In fact, it makes it enjoyable.  So let’s take a look, shall we?

At first, once you reach the home page, you may feel like you’ve stumbled upon the wrong site.  It’s simple and clean.  A bit too simple and clean.  You may wonder, where are the bells and whistles?  The annoying flashing ads?  The company spokesman who eerily resembles a used car salesman?  Answer: they’re not here, and that’s the beauty of it all – Jobseeker has the simplest, most intuitive interface in the job search business, and as we shall see, it makes navigation a breeze.

There are simply two boxes: “Keywords” and “Location.”  I typed in “Android” and “Sydney,” the logic being, as far as Sydney jobs go, being an Android developer would be cool.   The results popped up, and if the results look familiar, it’s no coincidence: they resemble the Google Search results, bringing an air of comfort and familiarity to the proceedings.

From there, the options are limitless and actionable: you can create an email alert for the search, calculate jobs within certain kilometer radius from Sydney (or any city), sort jobs by list date, title, location, job type, and source (e.g. job placement services.)  Pretty cool.

Clicking on a job directs you to the source itself.  So, in the case where I clicked on a certain position, I was taken to The West Australian, where I could read up on the iPhone/iPad/Android Developer gig.  From the Search results page I could Save the job (registration is required), thereby creating an easy-to-manage dashboard of all active job prospects, which is a stark improvement over, say, trying to do it in Gmail, or Godforbid, a spreadsheet.

Jobseeker Android Jobs in Sydney

These filtering tools are especially cool because pretty quickly users will pick up on certain trends that will, over time, make the job-hunting process more efficient.  They may soon find, for example, that jobs listed by a certain source, say the recruiting firm Skillquest, are far more attractive and applicable than from a competing firm.  Another example: in the Search results, under a specific job summary, there’s a “More” link.  Click on it, and you’ll find the permalink to the job, duplicate jobs, and jobs from the same source/recruiters.  And the fact that jobs can be searched by “Type” – full-time, contract, casual/temporary, etc. – saves time as well.

Which brings me back to “A Tale of Two Cities.”  Full disclosure: I never read it, but it takes place during the French Revolution.  The French Revolution, as you may recall, was a…messy affair.  Lots of angry mobs, castles being stormed, and that tremendously efficient innovation named after a French doctor named Joseph-Ignace Guillotin.

I’d venture to say that taken in context, our present-day challenge of job-hunting – especially with an easy, free, and intuitive job search platform like – maybe isn’t so bad after all.  Sure, not the “best of times,” but certainly not the “worst.”  More like “not the best, but certainly not the absolute worst of times where, among other things, you could get beheaded for looking at someone the wrong way.”