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HuDDleFish: God Has Entered the Internet

News has reached the angelic halls that the internet has become a raucous debacle. This Babylon of the ether world boasts the largest red light district in the history of mankind. It has assisted many in their pursuit of vice and licentiousness. With the free distribution of information and ability to connect with others around the world, legions of folks have taken to the darker domains of the under-net.

After a series of board meetings and many pots of coffee, the holy decision was made that something needed to be done. Church websites needed to no longer be the plastic billboards that they are. These online offerings of a few pages of information about their services to the Lord will no longer suffice. They do little to hold the attention of the wandering eyes of the aspiring pious. It’s time for something new. It’s time for something that will keep the flock from straying to foreign pastures whilst away from the pews. And so with the clash of a mighty scepter and loud roar, HuDDleFish was sent to the earth.

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Although only 40% of the letters in its name are capitalized, 100% of HuDDleFish is designed to help churches build websites. We aren’t talking digital brochures with service times and a few stock smiling pictures. We’re talking about fully functional web applications that can be readily customized for the ongoing needs of the ministry. And what’s more, it’s hailed to be so easy even the head pastor can use it. (Which is almost like seeing them jogging on the open ocean.)

The way it works is churches first need to decide to get on the internet bandwagon. That is, they need to decide to change their website from a portal of information to an online ministry. Once that happens, the floodgates are opened. HuDDleFish’s holy waters come rushing in with over 60 widgets designed specifically for the needs of churches. The drag ‘n’ drop interface allows the site to be updated and modified as needed.

Some of the features include online forms, photo albums, prayer request tools, web books, surveys and quizzes, smart calendars, and online courses. The entire congregation can register for accounts which integrate with many parts of the site. So when someone registers for an event it will appear on their calendar, for instance. Profile information is also used to manage the entire church directory. Access controls allow users to be granted editing and viewing rights to various sections of the website. This allows different members of the pastorate, staff, and church to maintain and oversee portions of the site.

Other available sections include a volunteer management tool, visitor sign-ups, and event management. Then there are multiple financial tools including the ability to set up e-commerce features to sell things online, online fundraising, donations, as well as a yellow pages directory. The yellow pages directory allows churches to provide classifieds space to their congregation. All pages and sections can be readily added and taken down as the ministry grows and changes.

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When questioned about the imminent sanctification of cyberspace Ed Schnanders with the Adult Websites are Neat Foundation said he had little concern about it. He’s quoted as saying, “As long as they keep repressing the congregation a steady stream of parishioners will find their way to our side of the net.” He continued with, “We just hope they don’t start reading the more lurid parts of the Bible lest they take away the mystique!” With a sly grin he gloated, “Fortunately, many passages are overlooked as not nice or not family friendly.”

The battle for the lost souls of man is finding its way to the web. HuDDleFish is the premier ministry tool with which churches can fight the good fight. They can build active, easily updatable websites providing an oasis from the temptations lurking just a few clicks away. With it churches will be able to provide the faithful a safe haven online where they can continue to learn, grow, and fellowship.

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